As Eli Grows: Santa

Eli really doesn't like Santa. At all. I mean, he likes the thought of Santa leaving lots of toys...but he doesn't really like the thought of Santa being in his house. Yesterday morning, he didn't wake up until 8:15 a.m. to get a drink of water. He was actually laying back down when I told him that I thought Santa had come last night. He looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Momma, I don't HEAR him." Eesh... Once he saw the presents, though, he was good to go!

Domestic Violence

One in four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.

-The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Domestic violence has been on my mind a lot lately. At first, I thought it was because of past experience and the fact that I'm about to begin my second term at Family Support Services, a local agency that focuses on the tragic epidemic...but I stayed up late last night thinking about it and I now realize it's because it's the holiday season - the prime time for domestic violence across the nation. During my stint as a crime reporter, one of the most depressing and terrifying stories I wrote was following a police ride-along to an overwhelming number of domestic violence calls. Officers told me a domestic violence call is one of the most dangerous calls an officer can respond to, and after seeing it firsthand...I see why. Domestic violence is a very complicated CYCLE. It often begins with threats and name-calling and moves to emotional and psychological abuse. Before long, the victim is so manipulated that they feel they have no control over the physical abuse that follows...and probably even believe they provoked the abuse.

An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault

by an intimate partner each year.

-The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is affecting someone around you right now. Your mother, your sister, your best friend, your co-worker. If you see the signs, don't try to rationalize why you shouldn't intervene. Let them know you are there for them. Realize that it may not sink in right away, but I guarantee that seed will grow when the victim is ready.

Almost one-third of female homicide victims that are reported

in police records are killed by an intimate partner.

-The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

If you feel you are in the beginning stages of the domestic violence cycle, please get out now. It won't be easy, but it might just save your life. The earlier you are able to leave the cycle, the better. The longer you stay in the relationship, the more manipulation you endure until you become a shell of yourself... I know. For a short time, I've been there. I've felt the fear looking into the eyes of someone who was in a jealous rage. I've lied to friends and family members about the bruises on my body. ...and I've always considered myself to be a strong, independent woman who would never let something like that happen to me. It can happen to anyone. Teach the young girls you know that they never, ever deserve to be abused in any way - mentally, emotionally or physically, welcome those you know might need your support with open arms, and pray for strength and guidance for those who are suffering. Again, it can happen to anyone.

Mighty Maximus

Eli and I have a new addition to our family...a Chihuahua we rescued from the local shelter today! I figured he's probably had a rough life (he was shaking and scared to death when we got him) and could use a little self-confidence. With a name like Maximus, he can't go wrong! ;) I know, I know...I swore I would never, ever own a Chihuahua...but honestly, I think he may be the sweetest, loving dog I've ever owned. He wants to be as close to you as possible and he's perfectly content cuddled up on the couch watching cartoons with Eli. Eli quickly bonded with Max as well and I'm so excited about our new addition! :)

As Eli Grows: Prayer

My family prays before every meal, so Eli knows what is expected of him before we eat. Last night, my dad asked Eli if he'd like to lead the prayer. He said yes and his prayer went a little like this:

"God is good, God is great.

Let us thank Him for this food. AMEN! (very loudly!)"

It was a little off, but we were all SO proud of him! One of my biggest goals is to raise this sweet little boy into a Godly man, and what a blessing it was to see him grow a little more last night! :)

As Eli Grows: Broadway on Ice

Mom, Dad and I took Eli to see Broadway on Ice earlier this week and he was mesmerized by it all! Every time the ice skaters would take a break, he would ask where the "skateboards" were. I corrected him a few times with "ice skates" and he seemed to understand. Minutes later, he asked again where the "ice boards" were! ;) Ahh, how confusing it can all be! During the same show, one of the performers, a man, came out with a great deal of makeup on and Eli turned to me with a very confused face and said, "Momma, he looks WEIRD!"

Proud to be Italian: Family History

My Italian heritage has always fascinated me - maybe because I grew up thousands of miles away from my Italian family and only caught biannual glimpses of the traditions that should have been my own...or maybe because I grew up in an area with so few Italians that I, myself, was a mystery to many. Thanks to a couple of strong Italian women in Amarillo who formed the Italian-American Club, I now get a taste of home every month. After being asked to send them my family history, I compiled the information below from my Auntie Ina, who lives in Manchester, NH.

My maternal great-grandparents, Vincent John and Concetta (Gangi) Gianussa, and my paternal great-grandparents, Francis Paul and Ina Frances (Safina) Bertolino, Sr., emigrated here from Palermo, Italy between 1920 and 1923. I was told Ina Frances was really Gasperina Frances, but she changed it to Ina during the processing at Ellis Island because it was too complicated to communicate. Vincent and Concetta were employed as a valet and a teacher for a wealthy family in Sicily. I was told Ina (Safina) was part of the Safina royal family in Sicily which lost most of their wealth when the Girabaldis waged war in the 1860s and 1870s. Francis Paul bought a small fishing vessel in Gloucester, MA then sold that to buy a wharf to process fish. He then moved his family to Salisbury (where I grew up) where he operated a fish wholesale/retail business that remains in the family.

Breaking Down the Walls

“Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first.

Ask questions, then feel the answer.

Learn to trust your heart.”

Over the years, I have built walls of steel around my heart. I have questioned whether I have truly loved anyone, because I've been able to walk away from every relationship I've ever had with my heart relatively in tact. I've been hurt, but I've always been the one to leave it all behind. Sometimes, I realized the feelings weren't strong enough and other times, it's because I felt I owed it to myself not to allow myself to be treated the way I was being treated. But every time, it was by my own accord. I've often wondered if that's healthy. I don't regret walking away from any relationship (except for maybe the length of time it took me to walk away), but I often wonder that if in the process, the walls are now so high that it's almost impossible for me to let someone in so completely. When do you know whether it's best to follow your heart or your head? When do you decide to set down the fear of vulnerability and the need for control to dive in head first? When do you do away with your cynicism of mankind and relationships in general that has been built up for years and search for, then allow, the love you once believed was possible? While I don't know the answers to these questions, I am beginning to realize that what has happened in the past is not the future...and while I should keep a sense of reality and rationality, God does have a plan for me. By continuing to live behind the barriers, I'm limiting the possibilities He's trying to place before me. Breaking down the walls is a huge step outside my comfort zone, but I'm willing to do so knowing that He is in control.

It is a glorious thing to know that your Father God makes no mistakes in directing or permitting that which crosses the path of your life. It is the glory of God to conceal a matter. It is our glory to trust him, no matter what.
- Joni Eareckson Tada -