A sixth grade student sang this song at a talent show yesterday and I was enamored with the words...and so impressed with the message this young girl was sharing with her peers. I wanted to save the lyrics for Everly and pray that I am able to pass on this positive message to her, above and beyond what society preaches on a daily basis.
"Mirror"
Barlow Girl
Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it?
'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am
I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect
So sorry you won't define me
Sorry you don't own me
Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, I won't try
Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes
of He who made me
And to Him I have beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me (Yeah)
Who are you tell me
that I'm less than what I should be
Who are you?
Who are you? (Yeah)
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, no, I won't try
You don't define me (You don't define me) [x4]
Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be
Who are you?
Who are you?
Yeah!
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, no, I won't try
Yeah
Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be
Who are you?
Who are you?
Yeah
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, no, I won't try
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
The Path.
Within two weeks, I will become the Board President for Family Support Services. While I was honored to be chosen to serve, I hadn't really thought deeply about what this service really meant to me. That all changed in an instant at the Christmas dinner last night, as I listened to the testimonials of the outgoing president, featured client and volunteer. I realized that God has led me to this post for a reason - not only for the agency, but for myself.
You see, I understand what so many of the clients feel. I was that 3 year old girl, stepping off a plane from Boston with my mother who was carrying two suitcases containing our only worldly possessions. Without the support of my aunt, we would have needed the help of the shelter. Without the inexpensive items at Goodwill and on the "sale (or soon to expire) rack" at the grocery store, we would have needed the help of the local food pantry.
As a college student dealing with the pain of my past and the uncertainty of my future, I reached out for counseling services. Services, I believe, saved my life. You see, I was also thinking of why ending it all was a better option than living.
And as a young adult, I felt the pain of abuse. I hid the bruises from family and friends. I felt the extreme shame, because you see, I was headed down a successful career path. These things shouldn't be happening to me. I shouldn't have let them happen to me.
My pain and my experiences were short-lived and nothing compared to what our clients have experienced, but I felt it, lived it, nonetheless. I am thankful now that God prepared me to empathize with those we serve. I'm thankful for the path...and excited for the future ahead.
You see, I understand what so many of the clients feel. I was that 3 year old girl, stepping off a plane from Boston with my mother who was carrying two suitcases containing our only worldly possessions. Without the support of my aunt, we would have needed the help of the shelter. Without the inexpensive items at Goodwill and on the "sale (or soon to expire) rack" at the grocery store, we would have needed the help of the local food pantry.
As a college student dealing with the pain of my past and the uncertainty of my future, I reached out for counseling services. Services, I believe, saved my life. You see, I was also thinking of why ending it all was a better option than living.
And as a young adult, I felt the pain of abuse. I hid the bruises from family and friends. I felt the extreme shame, because you see, I was headed down a successful career path. These things shouldn't be happening to me. I shouldn't have let them happen to me.
My pain and my experiences were short-lived and nothing compared to what our clients have experienced, but I felt it, lived it, nonetheless. I am thankful now that God prepared me to empathize with those we serve. I'm thankful for the path...and excited for the future ahead.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Pregnancy Perils
Ah, Pregnancy! I couldn't help but jot down a few of the "perils" I encountered while pregnant with my beautiful Everly Verona. :)
• Please refrain from telling me how big I’ve gotten, how I’m “blossoming,” or how I’m really showing since last time you saw me. I know. I have a mirror at home. I break down in front of it at least once a week. How about let’s try this in the future – “You look so cute.” Or if I don’t, don’t comment on my appearance at all. Simply ask about the baby – when she’s due or if we’ve picked a name. It’s pretty simple.
• On the same note, while I’m overeager to share the name of my sweet bundle of joy, not everyone is. That’s their choice. When you DO ask about the baby’s name and they tell you they’re keeping it a secret…that’s a sign to LEAVE THEM ALONE. They haven’t told their family, why in the world would you think you’ll be able to break them down and talk them into telling you? I can’t imagine how frustrating that must be.
• Speaking of, I also have friends who don’t plan to have babies now – or maybe even ever. That’s ALSO their choice. I’ll never understand how Random Person thinks it’s appropriate to quiz someone about their decision – especially in Random Place, like a crowded restaurant. Unless you plan on carrying and caring for the sweet baby, also LEAVE THEM ALONE.
• Yes, my previous “steel trap” of a brain has turned into partial mush. I realize I’m forgetful. It also makes me a bit crazy. That’s why it’s best not to blame my “baby brain” for anything that’s forgotten.
• It’s incredibly difficult to find the balance between thankfulness and complaints. Let me explain. I don’t feel good. I’ve gained a crazy amount of weight on my otherwise rather small physique in a short amount of time. My hormones are a wreck and I can’t sleep. BUT I know I’m incredibly blessed that God has chosen me to house this little miracle. So…that being said…when you ask me how I’m feeling, I really want to yell how I REALLY feel, but I don’t. My statement at that moment tends to be, “I feel pregnant.”
• I feel like I’m drowning in water. Not literally, mind you, but my twice-hourly visits to the bathroom really cramp my productivity. And my doctor wants me to drink MORE water to combat my body’s obvious resistance to the increased blood flow. Eesh. Every 20 minutes it is.
• Please don’t tell me how you or someone you know is absolutely precious pregnant. That’s wonderful – I’m excited for them. But I feel and look anything but precious, so I’m not really interested in hearing about how adorable they are.
• On that same note, please also refrain from telling me how you or so-in-so were wearing your pre-pregnancy clothes within a week or two of delivery. I don’t care. I won’t be and I need to be fine with that, so you’re not helping. Oh – and I may ruffle some feathers, but I really question whether that’s entirely healthy. Just sayin’. Everyone’s body is different…so please put your miracle stories away and I’ll focus on what’s to come.
• I’m pregnant. I’m hungry. And I can’t have the luxury of wine, so please do not comment on how much I’m eating. I’M GROWING A HUMAN BEING IN MY STOMACH. If I want to eat something, I’m going to. Until my doctor says there’s a problem, that’s what’s going to happen. Period.
• Reiterating the comment above…I can’t have wine. Therefore I tend to be a bit cranky after a long day of work. I do my best to avoid people. You might want to do your best to avoid me. ;)
• I am incredibly tired. Not just a little sleepy, but exhausted. I know this, because I can barely keep my eyes open and my arms feel like I’m carrying 20 pound weights at all times. I also know this because at least one person a day tells me how tired I look. That helps.
• I had another point to make here, but I lost it. Yes, baby brain. But only I can blame that. ;)
• Oh – remembered! Please don’t tell me that you know I’m carrying a little girl, because my looks have changed. Especially when you add not to worry, that you get your looks back after the baby’s born. Translation: wow – you’re fat and ugly. That’s not nice. I realize it’s an old wives’ tale, but just like dangling a piece of string above someone’s stomach to determine the sex of the baby, it doesn’t mean anything to me. It just means I’m fat and ugly.
• Being pregnant is the best way to find out all of the birthdays surrounding the due date of your baby. No matter who you tell, you find out the birthdays of everyone in their family who is near that date. What’s odd to me, though, is when Random Person seems to be offended when you say you’d rather not have to wait 10 days AFTER the due date to make sure your child’s born on Random Person’s Cousin’s birthday. Like I have any control anyway.
• Dear Waiter, it’s not really all that funny to bring out extra sauce “to the pregnant woman at table 12.” Anyone who knows me, knows I love my condiments even when I’m NOT pregnant…so please refrain from this type of comedy.
• Dear Wine Bar Owner, do not approach me minutes after I enter your establishment to tell me that you cannot serve me alcohol. Um, I was there to hear a friend play – not to jeopardize the health of my unborn baby by imbibing in tons of your wine, thank you. On the other hand, many doctors say it’s fine to drink even one glass of wine a day - so who are you to tell me or anyone else what we can and cannot do. I choose not to drink at all. My choice. I don’t appreciate you making a scene like you’re having to cut me off. Maybe you should have focused more on the hand full of people I saw leaving your establishment obviously drunk that evening.
• There’s something a little demoralizing about not being able to bend over and tie your shoelaces. It’s not a good feeling.
• I realize my September due date was not good timing – and that I’ll have to go through the heat of the summer. It’s 100 degrees outside, so I’m obviously aware. We were shooting for October/November, but God had a different plan. There’s not a whole lot I can do about it at this point!
• By the way, this is a TEN month process instead of NINE months. I’m not sure who came up with that substantial lie, but it’s a huge difference!
• My daughter’s name is Everly Verona. I obviously love the name or I wouldn’t subject her to it for the REST OF HER LIFE. So, even if you don’t like it, please pretend to – or don’t ask to begin with. I’m not going to change her name just because Random Person says, “Oh.” with a confused look, so really at this point, you’re just being rude.
• While I realize that my physical condition is obvious, what I plan to do with other parts of my physique really isn’t any of your business. It is never appropriate to ask someone if they are planning to breastfeed. If you feel it necessary, at least use the word “nurse.” On second thought, just don’t ever feel it’s necessary. Nursing is something that many women are incredibly uncomfortable discussing – especially if they’re first-time moms and they’re not sure if it’s something they’re interested in doing or not. I’m more open to discussing it, simply because I did with Eli and plan to with Everly, but even I don’t particularly enjoy having long, personal conversations about my breasts with Random Person.
• I also realize that I have developed a small waddle with my walk. It will only get worse as I get closer to my due date and there’s not much I can do about it. Again, I’m pregnant. You know that, because just yesterday you commented on how much bigger I’d gotten since the last time you’d seen me. Last week. Just so we’re clear - I’m carrying an extra human being – be it a small one - and my center of gravity is a bit off. While the waddle may be cute to you, it is NOT cute in any way to me. In fact, I find it much more enjoyable when you don’t point it out.
• It’s always important to think before you speak. Case in point. The following statement isn’t very nice: “Wow, you’re about to have that baby, huh?!” I still have six weeks to go. See, if you had thought before you spoke, you might have realized that you have no way to gauge the timing of her impending birth…so it’s best not to suggest it’s tomorrow.
• I have decided that hitting the 33 week mark cues something in others to discuss the position of your increasing belly. I can’t tell that she’s dropped, so I really don’t understand how you can either. Or, how you can tell that the baby of my friend who’s due a week after me has also dropped. It’s intriguing to me that we can both get the same comments in the same week at separate places of employment.
• I can now identify with a beached whale. Rolling over in bed just isn’t the same. If it wasn’t so much work – and so uncomfortable – it would be funny. But, ask my husband who accidentally laughed…it’s not. ;)
• Despite the physical toll of hormones and extra weight, your self esteem can only take so much. :) I hope this puts into perspective a little of what pregnant women go through – and why they may be a little more irritable than normal. Please be sweet to them.
• Please refrain from telling me how big I’ve gotten, how I’m “blossoming,” or how I’m really showing since last time you saw me. I know. I have a mirror at home. I break down in front of it at least once a week. How about let’s try this in the future – “You look so cute.” Or if I don’t, don’t comment on my appearance at all. Simply ask about the baby – when she’s due or if we’ve picked a name. It’s pretty simple.
• On the same note, while I’m overeager to share the name of my sweet bundle of joy, not everyone is. That’s their choice. When you DO ask about the baby’s name and they tell you they’re keeping it a secret…that’s a sign to LEAVE THEM ALONE. They haven’t told their family, why in the world would you think you’ll be able to break them down and talk them into telling you? I can’t imagine how frustrating that must be.
• Speaking of, I also have friends who don’t plan to have babies now – or maybe even ever. That’s ALSO their choice. I’ll never understand how Random Person thinks it’s appropriate to quiz someone about their decision – especially in Random Place, like a crowded restaurant. Unless you plan on carrying and caring for the sweet baby, also LEAVE THEM ALONE.
• Yes, my previous “steel trap” of a brain has turned into partial mush. I realize I’m forgetful. It also makes me a bit crazy. That’s why it’s best not to blame my “baby brain” for anything that’s forgotten.
• It’s incredibly difficult to find the balance between thankfulness and complaints. Let me explain. I don’t feel good. I’ve gained a crazy amount of weight on my otherwise rather small physique in a short amount of time. My hormones are a wreck and I can’t sleep. BUT I know I’m incredibly blessed that God has chosen me to house this little miracle. So…that being said…when you ask me how I’m feeling, I really want to yell how I REALLY feel, but I don’t. My statement at that moment tends to be, “I feel pregnant.”
• I feel like I’m drowning in water. Not literally, mind you, but my twice-hourly visits to the bathroom really cramp my productivity. And my doctor wants me to drink MORE water to combat my body’s obvious resistance to the increased blood flow. Eesh. Every 20 minutes it is.
• Please don’t tell me how you or someone you know is absolutely precious pregnant. That’s wonderful – I’m excited for them. But I feel and look anything but precious, so I’m not really interested in hearing about how adorable they are.
• On that same note, please also refrain from telling me how you or so-in-so were wearing your pre-pregnancy clothes within a week or two of delivery. I don’t care. I won’t be and I need to be fine with that, so you’re not helping. Oh – and I may ruffle some feathers, but I really question whether that’s entirely healthy. Just sayin’. Everyone’s body is different…so please put your miracle stories away and I’ll focus on what’s to come.
• I’m pregnant. I’m hungry. And I can’t have the luxury of wine, so please do not comment on how much I’m eating. I’M GROWING A HUMAN BEING IN MY STOMACH. If I want to eat something, I’m going to. Until my doctor says there’s a problem, that’s what’s going to happen. Period.
• Reiterating the comment above…I can’t have wine. Therefore I tend to be a bit cranky after a long day of work. I do my best to avoid people. You might want to do your best to avoid me. ;)
• I am incredibly tired. Not just a little sleepy, but exhausted. I know this, because I can barely keep my eyes open and my arms feel like I’m carrying 20 pound weights at all times. I also know this because at least one person a day tells me how tired I look. That helps.
• I had another point to make here, but I lost it. Yes, baby brain. But only I can blame that. ;)
• Oh – remembered! Please don’t tell me that you know I’m carrying a little girl, because my looks have changed. Especially when you add not to worry, that you get your looks back after the baby’s born. Translation: wow – you’re fat and ugly. That’s not nice. I realize it’s an old wives’ tale, but just like dangling a piece of string above someone’s stomach to determine the sex of the baby, it doesn’t mean anything to me. It just means I’m fat and ugly.
• Being pregnant is the best way to find out all of the birthdays surrounding the due date of your baby. No matter who you tell, you find out the birthdays of everyone in their family who is near that date. What’s odd to me, though, is when Random Person seems to be offended when you say you’d rather not have to wait 10 days AFTER the due date to make sure your child’s born on Random Person’s Cousin’s birthday. Like I have any control anyway.
• Dear Waiter, it’s not really all that funny to bring out extra sauce “to the pregnant woman at table 12.” Anyone who knows me, knows I love my condiments even when I’m NOT pregnant…so please refrain from this type of comedy.
• Dear Wine Bar Owner, do not approach me minutes after I enter your establishment to tell me that you cannot serve me alcohol. Um, I was there to hear a friend play – not to jeopardize the health of my unborn baby by imbibing in tons of your wine, thank you. On the other hand, many doctors say it’s fine to drink even one glass of wine a day - so who are you to tell me or anyone else what we can and cannot do. I choose not to drink at all. My choice. I don’t appreciate you making a scene like you’re having to cut me off. Maybe you should have focused more on the hand full of people I saw leaving your establishment obviously drunk that evening.
• There’s something a little demoralizing about not being able to bend over and tie your shoelaces. It’s not a good feeling.
• I realize my September due date was not good timing – and that I’ll have to go through the heat of the summer. It’s 100 degrees outside, so I’m obviously aware. We were shooting for October/November, but God had a different plan. There’s not a whole lot I can do about it at this point!
• By the way, this is a TEN month process instead of NINE months. I’m not sure who came up with that substantial lie, but it’s a huge difference!
• My daughter’s name is Everly Verona. I obviously love the name or I wouldn’t subject her to it for the REST OF HER LIFE. So, even if you don’t like it, please pretend to – or don’t ask to begin with. I’m not going to change her name just because Random Person says, “Oh.” with a confused look, so really at this point, you’re just being rude.
• While I realize that my physical condition is obvious, what I plan to do with other parts of my physique really isn’t any of your business. It is never appropriate to ask someone if they are planning to breastfeed. If you feel it necessary, at least use the word “nurse.” On second thought, just don’t ever feel it’s necessary. Nursing is something that many women are incredibly uncomfortable discussing – especially if they’re first-time moms and they’re not sure if it’s something they’re interested in doing or not. I’m more open to discussing it, simply because I did with Eli and plan to with Everly, but even I don’t particularly enjoy having long, personal conversations about my breasts with Random Person.
• I also realize that I have developed a small waddle with my walk. It will only get worse as I get closer to my due date and there’s not much I can do about it. Again, I’m pregnant. You know that, because just yesterday you commented on how much bigger I’d gotten since the last time you’d seen me. Last week. Just so we’re clear - I’m carrying an extra human being – be it a small one - and my center of gravity is a bit off. While the waddle may be cute to you, it is NOT cute in any way to me. In fact, I find it much more enjoyable when you don’t point it out.
• It’s always important to think before you speak. Case in point. The following statement isn’t very nice: “Wow, you’re about to have that baby, huh?!” I still have six weeks to go. See, if you had thought before you spoke, you might have realized that you have no way to gauge the timing of her impending birth…so it’s best not to suggest it’s tomorrow.
• I have decided that hitting the 33 week mark cues something in others to discuss the position of your increasing belly. I can’t tell that she’s dropped, so I really don’t understand how you can either. Or, how you can tell that the baby of my friend who’s due a week after me has also dropped. It’s intriguing to me that we can both get the same comments in the same week at separate places of employment.
• I can now identify with a beached whale. Rolling over in bed just isn’t the same. If it wasn’t so much work – and so uncomfortable – it would be funny. But, ask my husband who accidentally laughed…it’s not. ;)
• Despite the physical toll of hormones and extra weight, your self esteem can only take so much. :) I hope this puts into perspective a little of what pregnant women go through – and why they may be a little more irritable than normal. Please be sweet to them.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Eli - Preschool Graduation! :)
Eli is officially a graduate of First Baptist Church's Christian Learning Center. :) He was such a big boy at his graduation and was so proud of himself. His teachers asked all of the children what they would like to be when they grow up and Eli stuck to his standby - a policeman. We'll see. :) I'm also adding a picture of Eli and his girlfriend Kamryn. He absolutely loves this little girl and I think she is so precious! :) He has good taste!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
~ Sweet Little Samantha ~
Sweet SamanthaMeet the newest addition to my zoo of a home! :) Tessa and I found this sweet little one-eyed pug in Canyon a couple of weeks ago. She (we named her Samantha) had a chip, so we were able to talk to the (former) owner - and this is her sad story. Samantha was abandoned by her original owner who moved away and left Sam in his empty house. By the time the owner called his landlord, Sam had been attacked by another dog and lost her eye in the fight. The landlord brought her to the pound and a woman in Dumas rescued her right before she was to be put down. Unfortunately, she couldn't keep Sam, so she gave her to her son…who gave Sam to his friend…who gave Sam to his grandmother…who kept Sam in the backyard, but Sam kept getting out. Long story short, this sweet little pug has seen and experienced way more than any animal should in her four short years. The woman we talked to said she was pure-bred, but of course - who knows who has the papers. I absolutely adore Samantha and she's been sleeping with me for the past couple of weeks. She's a wonderful dog - very, very protective and loyal - and is getting along well with the others... :) I hadn't planned for her, but God had. Welcome home.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Broken.
I wrote this in October, after getting back into a relationship I knew I shouldn't get back into...only to have it end it heartache. I was charmed back in once again...and it all came crashing down on me yesterday. The moral - follow God and follow your instincts... The mending process begins again.
The chilly fall wind outside seems to have made its way inside my body to the cold exterior layer of my heart. A heart that had finally allowed itself to open completely to a love I just knew was true and everlasting. A heart that listened intently to the charming, convincing words of a man who in the end, was not at all the man he portrayed himself to be. I have given my heart to God, instead of trying to mend the pieces myself. I know the ice will melt, and my heart will heal. Only then will I ask God to help me open myself up once again to the love and the future He has especially for me. Until that day, I will pray for grace and strength and focus on the overwhelming positives He has already given me.
The chilly fall wind outside seems to have made its way inside my body to the cold exterior layer of my heart. A heart that had finally allowed itself to open completely to a love I just knew was true and everlasting. A heart that listened intently to the charming, convincing words of a man who in the end, was not at all the man he portrayed himself to be. I have given my heart to God, instead of trying to mend the pieces myself. I know the ice will melt, and my heart will heal. Only then will I ask God to help me open myself up once again to the love and the future He has especially for me. Until that day, I will pray for grace and strength and focus on the overwhelming positives He has already given me.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Let It Go.
I stole this from my friend Ashley's blog. So very true. The only people you need in your life are the people who have shown they need you in theirs.
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to........LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ........LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction.....LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents....LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude.........LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him......LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.......LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves.....LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed .........LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. "The Battle is the Lord's!"
Friday, July 11, 2008
Comfort
I'm in awe of the quote below...and have been in deep thought about it since my friend Jackie posted it on my Myspace page yesterday. This is truly, truly what I want...
Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.
~Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Safety and Security
What I need most and what I crave most in a relationship is safety and security. A friend told me the following while we were talking about relationships this week...and it really hit home. Very insightful.
"You need to feel safe in a relationship. To me, that comes from knowing you mean more to the other person than anyone else and that they will do everything they can to make you happy. Only then are you totally secure."
"You need to feel safe in a relationship. To me, that comes from knowing you mean more to the other person than anyone else and that they will do everything they can to make you happy. Only then are you totally secure."
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
New York - Mom & Daughter Trip!
Mom and I had always wanted to travel to New York City, so that's exactly what we did! :) For my 31st birthday (ugh!), she set up an amazing trip and we had such a wonderful time!
We were able to see the Empire State Building...
...the musical Rent (I was dying to be on stage!)...
...and my favorite, the Staten Island Ferry!
But after a few days in record-breaking 100 degree weather + humidity...it was time to go!!
Eli - The Athlete!
Eli is officially finished with his first season of t-ball and soccer. Crazy us, we decided to sign him up for both sports at the same time...just to see which one he liked best! After shuttling the little guy between soccer practice, t-ball practice, soccer games, t-ball games, soccer pictures and t-ball pictures...we weren't all that upset to hear that he'd rather not play soccer next time. It WAS entertaining, though, to watch him try to stay as FAR AWAY from the soccer ball as possible. If that meant waiting for all of his other teammates to run by him in order to get to the back of the pack, that's exactly what he did! :)
T-ball was more his speed, but as you can see, he's the SMALLEST one out there! There was two Eli's on his team (so much for picking a unique name...) and he was "Little Eli." I certainly hope he grows soon! ;)
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Eli - A Girlfriend?!
Ah, my sweet little boy has an eye for a sweet little girl! Her name is Samantha, and quite fitting, he has picked the absolute CUTEST girl in his Mother's Day Out class. Seriously, this girl is CUTE and she has the brightest red hair and biggest, bluest eyes. Not so bad, Eli. He spent all last night "calling" and "texting" her. Which by the way, what is this world coming to when a four year old knows how to text on his pretend phone?! Anyway, he paced up and down the hall (just like his mama) telling "Samantha" about his day. I could hear him in the other room asking her if she wanted to come over, then making up a little song that went something like this, "If you have a little dog, come over (imagine a high pitch ending), if you have a big dog, come over, if you have a table, come over (I'm assuming he was just saying whatever he saw at the time), if you have a shoe, come over..." It went on and on. Tessa and I were laughing (to ourselves, of course, we wouldn't want to interrupt!), before she decided to see if Eli wanted to call her little neice Maddie. Sure enough, he did. Just like that his fascination with pretty little Samantha was over in favor of another cute little girl. This time a blonde! Ah, the fickleness starts early. My son's already a "playa, playa!" ;)
Monday, March 31, 2008
Trust.
The issue of trust plagues my thoughts today, so I looked for advice - where else? - on the web. Here are a few of the quotes I found.
The "advice" I found just complicates things all the more. I'll take the second and try to trust my heart...and pray that the Lord places the real "advice" directly on it.
"Trust is like a vase. Once it's broken...though you can fix it, the vase will never be the same again."
"Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart."
"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough."
The "advice" I found just complicates things all the more. I'll take the second and try to trust my heart...and pray that the Lord places the real "advice" directly on it.
Eli - Heaven?!
My baby boy is four. It doesn't seem possible that four years ago yesterday, I was in the hospital praying that my sweet little angel would be healthy (and would HURRY up and get here)! ;) In fact, I told Eli the story right when we woke up yesterday morning...right after I told him Happy Birthday and that he was now officially four years old. Which, a little side note here, was the funniest thing ever! He was so excited...he giggled a bit, said "I'm FOUR" over and over again, then giggled some more. He then followed up with, "I feel so BIG!" Lol. Okay - back to the original story. I told him that four years ago today, I was in the hospital. He interrupted right away and said, "Oh no, Mommy! Why?" I explained that I was in the hospital to get him out of my tummy... He said, "Oh, oh! I 'member that!" I said "Oh, you do?" laughed, then we got up and got ready for church. At lunch, I was telling my little brother the story and Eli interjected that he DOES remember. He said it was like a swimming pool in there, and a park, and the ice cream man was there and God was there. Hmmm...I had to ask if he really thought Mommy's tummy was big enough for all of that (which at the time, I certainly felt like it was), but in all sincerity, it made me wonder if in some way our little ones DO remember. All of those things would be like Heaven for Eli...a little slice of Heaven before entering the "real world." Just a little something to ponder.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Reality.
Yet again, my heart has been broken. My character and integrity have just been harshly criticized by the very person who told me that he loves me more than anything and the very person whom I loved so dearly. There was a time in my life when I would allow those cruel words to crush me, because I wasn't completely comfortable with who I was. But I now know that, like everyone, I have my faults and I have done things that I'm not proud of...but that does NOT make me a bad person. I will not allow someone to tell me that I'm not a good person or a good mother, simply because they are looking for something hateful and negative to say. Especially when I work so hard to be both. That being said, it is incredibly disheartening to know that someone who is supposedly in love with me could be so hurtful. I'm hurt, confused, but mostly disappointed.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Why?
Why is it that every time I feel like I have my life in order, that everything is finally falling into place...something happens to knock me off my feet? Wait, I think I just answered my own question. I just re-read that sentence, "every time I feel like I have my life in order" and realized that maybe, just maybe, I'm trying too hard to do it on my own - once again - and not relying on the Lord like I should. Wow. There's something to be said for blogging to give you perspective.
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