Friendship

A six and a half year burden was lifted off of my shoulders today and it's amazing how the words "I'm sorry" can mean so much. I had lunch today with a former roommate, who was once one of my very best friends and confidantes. We really haven't spoken, except for a chance meeting at Hobby Lobby, in more than six years. Our relationship splintered at a time when we were both in the midst of life-changing decisions and although neither one of us can recall exactly what happened, we went from constant companions to relative complete strangers. The loss of our relationship (along with that of another friend) completely devastated me. I have never, ever been so lonely and so confused. Looking back, it was a mixture of immaturity and miscommunication and everyone involved was at fault, but back then - I just couldn't fathom what I had done so wrong to make my best friends turn away from me in what I felt was a dire time of need. The hurt I felt from that life experience has followed me through the years, and although time has healed so much, I have unfortunately continued to hold that in my heart. I am so thankful to say that today is a new day. Not only do I feel a sense of validation, I also feel hope for our future...and I look forward to having her in my life once again.

Live in the Moment

"We live but a fraction of our lives."

Henry David Thoreau

How very true that simple statement is. I've always been one to look forward to the next big thing or event in my life - be it something as meaningful as the birth of my child or something as entertaining as a trip with friends. But it's never been more true than it is now. I count down the days, but forget that as I count, I lose a part of my life that I can't get back. I know I'm being sentimental...but after spending the last 48 hours cranky because life isn't always fair, I decided I need to focus again on the things that make me happy. Every day. Now, that doesn't mean I won't long for that next special time, but it does mean that I'll live every longing moment. ;)

"Use your precious moments to live life fully

every single second of every single day."

Marcia Wieder

As Eli Grows: Santa

Eli really doesn't like Santa. At all. I mean, he likes the thought of Santa leaving lots of toys...but he doesn't really like the thought of Santa being in his house. Yesterday morning, he didn't wake up until 8:15 a.m. to get a drink of water. He was actually laying back down when I told him that I thought Santa had come last night. He looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Momma, I don't HEAR him." Eesh... Once he saw the presents, though, he was good to go!

Domestic Violence

One in four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.

-The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Domestic violence has been on my mind a lot lately. At first, I thought it was because of past experience and the fact that I'm about to begin my second term at Family Support Services, a local agency that focuses on the tragic epidemic...but I stayed up late last night thinking about it and I now realize it's because it's the holiday season - the prime time for domestic violence across the nation. During my stint as a crime reporter, one of the most depressing and terrifying stories I wrote was following a police ride-along to an overwhelming number of domestic violence calls. Officers told me a domestic violence call is one of the most dangerous calls an officer can respond to, and after seeing it firsthand...I see why. Domestic violence is a very complicated CYCLE. It often begins with threats and name-calling and moves to emotional and psychological abuse. Before long, the victim is so manipulated that they feel they have no control over the physical abuse that follows...and probably even believe they provoked the abuse.

An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault

by an intimate partner each year.

-The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is affecting someone around you right now. Your mother, your sister, your best friend, your co-worker. If you see the signs, don't try to rationalize why you shouldn't intervene. Let them know you are there for them. Realize that it may not sink in right away, but I guarantee that seed will grow when the victim is ready.

Almost one-third of female homicide victims that are reported

in police records are killed by an intimate partner.

-The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

If you feel you are in the beginning stages of the domestic violence cycle, please get out now. It won't be easy, but it might just save your life. The earlier you are able to leave the cycle, the better. The longer you stay in the relationship, the more manipulation you endure until you become a shell of yourself... I know. For a short time, I've been there. I've felt the fear looking into the eyes of someone who was in a jealous rage. I've lied to friends and family members about the bruises on my body. ...and I've always considered myself to be a strong, independent woman who would never let something like that happen to me. It can happen to anyone. Teach the young girls you know that they never, ever deserve to be abused in any way - mentally, emotionally or physically, welcome those you know might need your support with open arms, and pray for strength and guidance for those who are suffering. Again, it can happen to anyone.

Mighty Maximus

Eli and I have a new addition to our family...a Chihuahua we rescued from the local shelter today! I figured he's probably had a rough life (he was shaking and scared to death when we got him) and could use a little self-confidence. With a name like Maximus, he can't go wrong! ;) I know, I know...I swore I would never, ever own a Chihuahua...but honestly, I think he may be the sweetest, loving dog I've ever owned. He wants to be as close to you as possible and he's perfectly content cuddled up on the couch watching cartoons with Eli. Eli quickly bonded with Max as well and I'm so excited about our new addition! :)

As Eli Grows: Prayer

My family prays before every meal, so Eli knows what is expected of him before we eat. Last night, my dad asked Eli if he'd like to lead the prayer. He said yes and his prayer went a little like this:

"God is good, God is great.

Let us thank Him for this food. AMEN! (very loudly!)"

It was a little off, but we were all SO proud of him! One of my biggest goals is to raise this sweet little boy into a Godly man, and what a blessing it was to see him grow a little more last night! :)

As Eli Grows: Broadway on Ice

Mom, Dad and I took Eli to see Broadway on Ice earlier this week and he was mesmerized by it all! Every time the ice skaters would take a break, he would ask where the "skateboards" were. I corrected him a few times with "ice skates" and he seemed to understand. Minutes later, he asked again where the "ice boards" were! ;) Ahh, how confusing it can all be! During the same show, one of the performers, a man, came out with a great deal of makeup on and Eli turned to me with a very confused face and said, "Momma, he looks WEIRD!"